Melissa recently enrolled her young son Apollo in our school. She’s an author and has donated a copy of her book to us. My wife, Connie, and I looked it over and both want to read it. Connie claimed it before I had a chance and is already deep into the first couple of chapters. She’s loving it. You might want to get a copy of your own. It’s available on Amazon, Copperfield’s and most major book stores.
NOTHING LEFT BUT DUST is a powerful tale of love, loss, and hope set during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake. Jo and Otto must fight for survival and love as they navigate the burning ruins of the city in search of answers to a dark family secret. An edge-of-your-seat coming-of-age survival story that will leave you inspired by the strength and resilience of the human spirit.
Author: Melissa Geissinger is descended from survivors of the 1906 San Francisco earthquake and is herself a Tubbs fire survivor. A neurodivergent optimist, Melissa is predisposed to following her dreams as well as every shiny side quest along the way. She lives in Santa Rosa with her partner, her five-year-old heart warrior son, and a menagerie of fur kids. She enjoys the outdoors, soaking up knowledge, and connecting with other passionate creators. Nothing Left But Dust is her first novel. You can follow her writing at melissageissinger.com
“Ooh baby baby, it’s a wild world It’s hard to get by just upon a smile. You know I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do, and it’s breaking my heart in two because I never want to see you sad girl.” -Yusuf Islam/Cat Stevens, British singer-songwriter
Karens, if you don’t know, are generally middle-aged white women who use their privilege as a weapon to belittle others who they deem are not living up to their expectations. She’s often entitled, ignorant and racist. A 9-year-old black girl was reported to the police as a suspicious person putting her at risk as she worked to eradicate her town of invasive insects. A neighbor called the police on a mom for allowing her
under 12 aged child to walk to school alone. She’s now looking at jail time. These are often minor or even fictitious infringements on social conventions, but they can have serious and life changing impacts on the person who is being reported on. Well, I just had a mother tell me that I abuse children. I understand how a person unfamiliar with what we do may think that training a child in the martial arts is abuse. But, why don’t they ask questions and try to understand.
The highest purpose of our art is to develop character. And we use the platform of Shotokan Karate, an Art of Self Defense, to do it. I’m not sure what that mother was thinking. There is nothing sweet and cuddly about defending yourself when your life is in danger. Some kids are highly aggressive from birth, other kids are gentle and caring. The only way these aggressive kids are going to be able to function in a free society is if they learn self-control. Which can be done and is best done early. If you wait until the child is a pre-teen or older, you’re going to have a much harder time. Studies show that kids who don’t learn self-control, turn into adults with poor health, suffer from substance abuse, have financial troubles and who have a criminal record by the time they reach age 32. To avoid this future these kids, need a strong, competent, and compassionate teacher.
The student-teacher relationship with the wild child often begins with the child challenging the teacher to combat. You see this portrayed in movies all the time where the young warrior challenges the master to a duel. In these portrayals if the master deems the young challenger worthy, he will accept the challenge and proceed to defeat the challenger without seriously hurting them. When this happens, the student recognizes defeat and that they have something they can learn from the teacher. This process is very exciting for the wild child. We use foam noodles, leg sweeps, kicks, throws, take downs, holds, chokes, etc. to playfully overpower the child. If the child isn’t enjoying it, we don’t do it. The teacher has to win the child over with play. To the overprotective parent this can look and sound like abuse, but to the child, it is great fun. This is a scenario that has been played out in thousands of martial art settings over hundreds of years in cultures all around the world.
So, to the mother who thinks what we do is child abuse I would say study warriors. Study who they are and how they are trained. Study character development. Study personality traits. Then when you know more of what you’re talking about come back to us and we’ll see if we can help your child. And, just to avoid any further misunderstanding, we only do this with highly aggressive kids, not the sweet ones.
“Your life is going to be hard. It will be hard because you decided not to pay the price to become valuable and you’re left with limited options. Or it will be hard because you paid the price to become valuable. Paying the price is hard but then your options become unlimited.”
– Bill Crawford, U.S. Air Force Stealth Pilot, 2016 TEDx Talk
The young people here tonight are the future. We’re here for them. They have a long hard road in front of them and our job is to prepare them in the best way possible. They are on a Great Journey to become valuable. Through their hard work they are paying the price to become valuable.
At some point, your child will be deciding what direction they want their life to take. They might attend college, develop a technical skill, go directly into the workforce, become an entrepreneur, start their own business, or go on a great adventure. Whatever it might be, they will meet other people who will want to know who they are, what they are like, how they handle everyday things, how they handle themselves in a crisis, and more. These people, whether they be college admissions officers, employers, venture capitalists or whoever, will be taking on chance on them, and they want to choose wisely.
Seeing that your child has earned a black belt will show them that they have developed mastery of something that requires perseverance over a long period of time. That they have done this on their own. That their mom didn’t do it. That their dad didn’t do it. That they did it. These people will be even more impressed when they discover that your child has leadership skills and has mentored and helped others.
In seeing this, they will know that your child won’t take NO for an answer. That their attitude is that they will find a way or they will make a way. That if there’s one chance then there’s a chance. That when they lead, they will give credit to their team when things go right and they will take the blame when things go wrong. They will know that your child will learn from their mistakes, and behave in private the same way they behave in public. They will know that your child will keep high standards and stay confident and self-assured no matter how hard things get. They will know that your child understands that the worst thing they can do is try to be something for everyone. They will know that your child is not just interested in winning but more importantly that they are interested in giving people hope. And in the end, they know that your child will make them proud and be someone they can brag about.
Your child’s Great Journey to Black Belt is not going to be easy. They will be many times along the way when giving up seems to be the best option. Your child may want to give up and you don’t know what to say to them, so you let them. Or it might be that you want to give up and your child senses this, and knows that this is an opportunity to get out of doing the hard work of making themselves valuable and so they tell you they want to give up, and feeling relieved… you let them. We know how hard parenting is. Part of your own great journey to make yourself valuable, is to raise a child who will become valuable. This is a noble effort and, in time, your child will thank you for it. We’ve helped thousands of parents navigate this terrain. We can help you. Talk to us.
“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and success of liberty.” – John F. Kennedy 35th President of the United States Parents, families, students and friends,
Our Spring 2023 Award Ceremony, held at the Finley Center on Saturday, May 6th was a rousing event. Our students put their heart and soul into their onstage performances and it showed. We are tremendously proud of all of them and feel honored to have them as students and to encourage them on their Great Journey to Black Belt and Beyond and in the process making themselves valuable. All in attendance left with sore hands and hoarse voices from clapping and cheering. The food was delicious and our Samurai Sword was put to good use cutting our congratulatory carrot cake. Our Fall 2023 Award Ceremony will be on Saturday, November 4th at the Finley Center. So, mark your calendars now because you won’t want to miss it.
Here’s what’s in it this month’s Shoka Magazine:
Shoka News (our newsletter)
Chief Instructor Award Ceremony Remarks
It’s a Wild World Thanks in Part to You, Karen!
Calgary Karate Summer Camp Poster, come join us!
Recommended Reading: Nothing Left but Dust, by Melissa Geissinger, Apollo’s mom and author
4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse Antidotes
A Handsome Fellow came knocking at our door! He wants to train with us. Do we let him in!
Responsibility: Leadership Trait, Definition, and Quotes
Father’s Day… providing the necessary male essence to their sons and being the main person, their daughters look up to.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy Self Defeating Rules 11 to 14 out of 14
Chris Gunn: Eulogy for a former student who had an Indomitable Spirit
We’ve been out in the community recently, making our presence known and attracting more good people such as yourselves. We will continue to do this throughout the summer and fall as long as the weather cooperates. We were at the Monster Truck Show, the Human Race and we’ll be at the Wednesday Night Market throughout the summer. We generally have a booth and spinning wheel and give away free lessons, t-shirts, uniforms, and karate and pizza parties. If you know of a big event with lots of people we’d love to be there if we can make it work.
Yours truly,
Marty Callahan, 8th Degree Black Belt, Chief Instructor, Founder, Author
Do you want to help your child develop a healthy lifestyle that instills confidence and discipline? If so, enrolling them in karate is a great way to achieve this goal. But what are the benefits of doing so? Let’s take a look at five reasons why karate is an excellent choice for children.
Reason #1: Improved Self-Esteem
Karate can be beneficial for kids because it helps build self-esteem and confidence. This is due to the fact that it teaches children how to do something difficult and challenging and see it through until completion. As they learn new techniques and become proficient, their self-esteem increases. Furthermore, as children learn respect for their instructors and fellow students, they gain more confidence in themselves.
Reason #2: Improved Physical Fitness
Another great benefit of karate is the physical fitness aspect of it. Not only does it involve aerobic exercise, but it also builds strength and flexibility. Karate classes offer an effective way for children to get regular exercise, stay fit, and have fun while doing so! Plus, with consistent practice, they will start seeing results sooner rather than later.
Reason #3: Develops Discipline
Karate can help teach children important life skills such as discipline and focus. As they progress through the ranks of karate, they must adhere to certain guidelines in order to advance. This teaches them valuable lessons about setting goals and working hard towards achieving them. It also helps them understand the importance of following rules and regulations within any given system or environment—a lesson that carries over into other aspects of life as well!
Reason #4: Learn Self Defense
Learning karate gives children the ability to defend themselves if necessary. As long as safety measures are taken (such as wearing protective gear during sparring sessions), kids can learn how to protect themselves from potential threats without having to resort to violence or aggression—a skill that will benefit them both physically and mentally throughout life!
Reason # 5: Respect & Teamwork
Learning respect is essential for anyone’s development into adulthood, and karate classes teach kids respect through discipline while still allowing them room to be themselves. Kids learn self-control as well as how to work with others as part of a team—another invaluable lesson that will benefit them throughout their lives!
Reason #6: Fun Way To Stay Active
Last but not least, karate classes are fun! Kids enjoy learning new skills while participating in activities with other students their age—all while getting plenty of physical activity along the way! Plus, most karate schools offer tournaments or other competitions where kids can test out their skills against each other in a safe environment.
There are many benefits associated with enrolling your child in karate classes—improved self-esteem, physical fitness gains, increased discipline levels, self-defense training, and most importantly having fun while staying active! So if you’re looking for an activity that has multiple positive outcomes for your child’s mental and physical development then consider giving karate a try! They may just love it!
Please visit askaboutkarate.com for information about our school in Santa Rosa, CA!
“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and success of liberty.” – John F. Kennedy 35th President of the United States
Parents, families, students and friends,
Our April 1, 2023 Santa Rosa Invitational Karate Tournament was a great event. The 32 students who chose to compete put their heart and soul into their performances and it showed. We are tremendously proud of all of them and feel honored to have them as students and to encourage them on their way to Black Belt. If you
missed it, we live streamed it and saved it on our YouTube Channel. Just search for Shotokan Karate Leadership School.
I’m in Japan as I finish this edition of Shoka Magazine. I’ll have a full report for our June edition. I have been sightseeing with my friends and new friends from New Zealand and Canada. The training starts on Friday, April 14. There’s also a new group joining us from France. Traveling to train with other students is a valuable experience. We highly recommend it for anyone 7 years old and up and green belt and above. If you’re below green belt and want to go we’ll discuss with your family whether it’s a good idea. Our next trip will be to Calgary Canada about June 30 to July 2. The actual dates have not been finalized. We’ll let you know once we know. I’m going to do my best to create a video journal of my Japan trip that you’ll be able to check out on our YouTube Channel if you’re interested.
Don’t forget to look at the details of our Saturday, May 6th Award Ceremony at the Finley Center Auditorium. It will include on stage performances from all of our students… including your son, daughter or grandchild, a potluck dinner, and… drumroll!!!… A Samurai Sword Cake Cutting! Great fun will be had for all.
Here’s what’s in it this month’s Shoka Magazine:
Shoka News (our newsletter)
May Award Ceremony Announcement
Results of the April 1st Santa Rosa Invitational Karate Tournament
Fistslinger
Who are you
4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Monster Truck Show
Cognitive Behavior Therapy Self Defeating Rules 6 to 10 out of 14
Karate classes offer many benefits for kids beyond physical fitness; it provides them with a safe space to learn about the importance of discipline and other essential values such as respect and teamwork. With guidance from experienced instructors, kids will quickly start feeling confident in themselves as they master new techniques and discover what they’re truly capable of achieving when they put in the effort! If you’re looking for a great way for your child to learn valuable lessons about discipline while having fun at the same time, consider enrolling them in karate classes today!
The Benefits of Discipline
Discipline is an essential life skill that can help prepare children for success in all areas, from academics to socializing with peers. It teaches children how to stay focused and motivated to reach their goals. Children who have learned the value of discipline are better equipped to handle failure and stay determined throughout tough times. They understand that with hard work and dedication, they can achieve anything they set their minds to.
How Karate Helps Develop Discipline
Structure
The structure of karate classes helps children understand the power of rules and regulations, which encourages them to develop discipline. During class, students are taught proper etiquette such as bowing when entering or exiting an area and addressing instructors with respect. They also learn how to stand in line properly, pay attention during instruction and follow directions without question. These rules help kids become more disciplined by teaching them that there is an appropriate way to behave in any situation.
Focus
Karate requires focus, concentration and dedication — all important components of developing discipline. Students must practice techniques over and over again until they can perform them perfectly; this requires a great deal of commitment on their part that helps them gain self-discipline. Furthermore, karate involves mental focus during sparring or competitions — something that can be challenging for younger kids but ultimately beneficial for their development.
Karate instills discipline in children as they learn to focus on their technique and practice with dedication. Through this practice, children learn how to set goals and stay motivated to reach them. This is especially important when it comes to developing strong physical skills like balance and coordination. The more disciplined a child is, the better they will be able to hone their techniques and progress through the ranks of karate.
Respect
A core principle in karate is respect; this means respecting your instructors and fellow students as well as yourself. This teaches kids about the importance of treating others with kindness and compassion while also valuing themselves enough to take care of their bodies and minds through physical activity like martial arts training. Ultimately, this encourages self-respect which leads to better self-discipline overall.
In order for karate classes to run smoothly, students must listen carefully to their instructors and follow directions precisely. This helps kids become more aware of their actions, as well as how they interact with others. Respectful behavior towards peers is also an essential part of learning martial arts, so children are taught from an early age how to treat everyone around them with kindness and consideration.
The Benefits of Karate for Kids
Aside from developing discipline, karate can provide a number of other benefits for kids including improved motor skills, increased self-confidence, stress relief, better problem-solving abilities, and an overall healthier lifestyle. For example, regular practice improves physical strength and agility while teaching kids how to stay calm under pressure which helps them develop better problem-solving abilities. Additionally, learning karate can help boost self-esteem by helping students feel capable of achieving difficult tasks or mastering complex techniques.
Ultimately, the benefits that come from learning karate extend far beyond just developing discipline in kids; it provides them with the tools they need to succeed both inside and outside the dojo! So whether your child is looking for an activity that will help keep them physically active or one that will teach them valuable life skills—karate may be just what they’re looking for! By providing discipline along with a variety of other positive benefits; karate is an excellent choice for any parent looking for something special for their child!
Please visit askaboutkarate.com for information about our school in Santa Rosa, CA!
By Shotokan Karate Leadership School in Santa Rosa, CA
If you have a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), then you may be considering karate as a form of exercise to help them focus and stay active. Karate is often thought of as an activity that’s good for physical health, but did you know it can also be beneficial to mental well-being? Karate has many benefits for kids with ADHD. Not only does it provide them with an outlet to channel their energy in a productive way, but it also helps them develop skills like focus and concentration needed to manage their condition more effectively. On top of that, practicing karate teaches valuable life lessons such as respect and perseverance that will benefit them outside of the dojo setting too! For parents looking for ways to help their children manage their ADHD symptoms better, introducing them to the world of karate may be just what they need! Let’s explore how karate can help children with ADHD.
The Benefits of Karate for Kids with ADHD
One recent study found that children in karate classes experienced improved concentration and self-confidence, both of which are especially important for kids with ADHD. This is because karate requires its practitioners to focus on the task at hand and pay attention to details such as stance, breathing, and technique. Practicing these skills over time can help children gain better control over their attention spans. Additionally, karate encourages kids to set goals and work hard to achieve them. This can give them a sense of accomplishment and boost their self-esteem.
The structure of a traditional karate class ensures that children will remain engaged while they learn the various forms, stances, and techniques of the martial art. Each practice session begins with warm-up exercises, followed by drills and instruction from the instructor. This gives children a sense of order and routine which can be difficult for those with ADHD to achieve on their own. The structure also helps keep kids focused on the task at hand rather than getting distracted by other things going on around them.
Karate is also an excellent form of physical exercise that can help reduce stress and anxiety levels in children with ADHD. It’s a great way for kids to blow off steam without resorting to negative behavior or lashing out at others. Additionally, participating in karate helps build discipline, which can be especially beneficial for young people who struggle with impulsivity or difficulty making decisions.
The physical aspects of karate are only part of its benefits; it also teaches self-control which is especially important for kids with ADHD who may have difficulty regulating their behavior in certain situations. With practice, kids learn how to stay calm under pressure and handle difficult emotions without resorting to violence or aggression – an invaluable lesson that will serve them well throughout life no matter what path they take! Additionally, the respect instilled within the dojo helps foster positive relationships between students as well as between the instructor and his/her students; this can lead to improved social interactions outside of karate classes too!
Finally, karate provides an opportunity for social interaction in a safe environment where kids can make friends who share similar interests. This will not only help them become more confident but also teach them the importance of teamwork and collaboration—skills they will need throughout their lives.
Karate is an excellent activity for children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder because it combines physical exercise with mental discipline in order to improve concentration and self-confidence while reducing stress levels and teaching important social skills such as teamwork. Ultimately, this makes it an ideal activity for any child looking to benefit from the many positive aspects of martial arts training while still having fun!
Please visit askaboutkarate.com for information about our school in Santa Rosa, CA!
Robert Ellis argued that a small number of core beliefs underlie most unhelpful emotions and behaviors. Core beliefs are underlying rules or code which guides how we react to the events and circumstances in our lives. Over the thirty-five years Ellis worked on this cognitive level, Ellis identified a trend that all dysfunctional behavior and attitudes functioned out of one (or more) of these self-defeating rules. Here are the first 5 of his self-defeating rules compliments of Udemy. The remaining 14 rules will be found in future editions of Shoka Magazine
I NEED EVERYONE TO APPROVE OF ME
People pleasers are everywhere: you either know a few people pleasers or you are a people pleaser yourself. People pleasers say yes to everyone and everything, regardless as to whether or not they want to. They perpetually lie to fit into other people’s narratives and demands: they agree with opinions they don’t agree with, they complement people’s outfits which they don’t like, they’ll say things they believe other people want to hear, they’ll attend social events they didn’t want to go to and they’ll even date people they don’t even fancy for fear of ‘hurting their feelings’. Why do people compromise their own sincerity, integrity and authenticity to please other people? It’s usually because they believe their opinions, needs, thoughts and whole persona isn’t good enough. They usually came from backgrounds where parents, guardians or authority figures emotionally or physically abused them and rejected them, resulting in a desire in adulthood to seek any form of approval, regardless of its legitimacy.
I MUST AVOID BEING DISLIKED BY ANYONE
Similarly, to the first point, people who don’t like to be disliked by people are people pleasers. To avoid being disliked, they’ll maintain friendships with people they don’t personally like (or are afraid of being on the wrong side of) or be overly friendly with people who clearly dislike them, going out of their way to buy them nice things, compliment them and strike up a conversation with them. Again, this way of being is inauthentic and deceitful, but people don’t act this way out of bad intentions: they’re merely trying to disprove their deep-seated belief that they are an unkind, nasty, horrible, boring person who nobody likes and who doesn’t deserve friendship or love.
I MUST SUCCEED IN EVERYTHING I DO TO BE VALUABLE
Many people are addicted to success, usually because they have a deep-seated core belief that they are a failure. Their parents or teachers may have made them feel like nothing they ever did was good enough or that they were a mistake which ruined their lives, so they spend the rest of their adult lives trying to out-work this core belief that they’re a failure who will never amount to anything. As a result, they end up burned out, overworked and stressed. Rather than defining success as being true to one’s values, being authentic and living with integrity, they define success as money, career status, materialism and grades.
IT’S NOT OK TO MAKE MISTAKES. IF I DO, I’M A BAD PERSON
Progression in life relies heavily on our ability to learn lessons from the risks we take and the mistakes we make. Unfortunately, there are millions of people who will never step outside of their comfort zone and take risks because they believe that every mistake, they make defines who they are and their capabilities in life. They see mistakes, not as learning opportunities, but as markers of their own incapabilities and insufficiency.
OTHER PEOPLE SHOULD STRIVE TO ENSURE I AM ALWAYS HAPPY
Whilst it’s easy to look at this rule and believe it only applies to a small minority of people who act like Veruca Salt, this idea isn’t as clear cut as that. There’s no denying that there are people in this world who feel entitled to be taken care of and appeased by everyone from strangers to immediate friends and family, there are more people out there who carry this belief more subtly. Whenever someone doesn’t go out of their way to please us, like a waiter in a restaurant or a friend, we feel affronted and offended because we expected more from them. We complain when people said something which offended us and bottle hatred towards them because they should have been more considerate, subsequently allowing their inconsideration to negatively impact our day, week or even lifetime. We can easily fall into the trap of self-consumption and forget that our needs, values and life objectives are not any more significant than those around us, so we prioritize our feelings, needs and emotional satisfaction without considering the complexity of those of the people we interact with.
Reflective Exercise:
Take 5-10 minutes to reflect on each of the irrational beliefs that Ellis highlighted. and identify any that may be particularly relevant to you. Consider the following questions in relation to each of these rules:
In what areas or situations do you recognize any of these rules in your life?
Can you identify how these rules may have developed? Did you choose them or have their underlying beliefs developed from the influence of your family/friends as you were growing up?
How have these rules prevented you or limited you in terms of achieving the things you really want in life?
What changes can you start making today to start building these new beliefs into your life?
